the baby

Breastfeeding art by Katie Crenshaw

At bedtime, Inara for the first time in a very long time didn’t want me to let go. She wanted to and insisted I nurse her until she fell asleep. So, after repeated failed attempts to put her down (one of which was because I had to go to the bathroom), I happily gave in and held her close—along with Sophie and two blankets, all of which she insisted on and clutched onto.

Nursing, I held her to me and listened to her breathing. The little sounds of her fidgeting or burrowing or settling in. I watched her large hands, her squishy fingers, the dimples where her knuckles should be as she played with Sophie or tried to position one of her blankets over her head just so. I breathed her in and missed her already.

Raising a toddler and a teen at the same time is so very hard. Not the least because you are reminded how quickly your babies grow up.

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